Have many letters and emails that need to be written and yet I find myself wanting to vacuum up the sand tracked in from the weekend.
The truth is that I am fighting against taking the words that are tumbling around in my head and actually creating something.
How do I say it right?
Can I trust the words arrive in the voice they are being written?
I believe that the core of my identity is less about arriving at some mysterious definition of who I am and more about something I am called to discover every day as new. To affirm myself within the hardest work of this moment and recognize that every moment is creating something. It is my choice how I create and use the talents I have been given.
What do I want to create?
Do I have space to hold and affirm who I am and how God has designed me?
Bizarre, but cleaning through my inbox I found this:
Rebelling or Creating by: Laurence Boldt
“The truth is, until we have taken the time to discover and affirm who we really are and what we really want, we are left with only negative identities and negative passion. We define ourselves by what we are against, and so have negative, not creative, passion. We need something to rebel against or we don’t feel like we exist. We need someone to rebel against or we don’t feel passionate about anything…. We are comfortable with rebelling, but fearful of creating.”
What if the deeper question that guided my days was
What needs to be created today?
I will write these letters and emails and choose to create life, not fighting against anything, even myself….