First question – where are you having this discussion? As you are getting ready to have sex?
For a man, once the train has left the station, it is hard to switch tracks. The best discussions about sexual desires and suggestions need to happen somewhere outside the bedroom.
Word pictures are a great means of communication with men. Choosing the time to have a conversation, figuring out what language partners with your husband’s interests is also helpful.
I live in a cold climate…a very cold climate! When the thermometer is hovering near the mark of zero degrees, I know that in order for my car to function properly I will need to warm it up. The oil has to warm up, move from being heavy to thin in order to move freely and efficiently through the engine block. Sure I can jump in and take off right away, but I also run the risk of damaging the engine.
We often misunderstand the reason for foreplay because we are thinking only of
one part of the equation…I want something
one side of the coin…you want it too
ourselves…there are two involved here.
What does foreplay have to teach us about one another?
It requires taking time, noticing each other, slowing down this very quick act of grasping pleasure and extending an invitation for pleasure to teach us about another.
Women on average need 20 minutes for the blood flow to reach their genitals fully, not to mention the time it takes to silence the many pathways that the brain is running. The secrets of the female orgasm are vast and mysterious. Women take longer to orgasm, but wise is the one who learns that the process of foreplay is not a loss of time, but rather an addition to the gift of oneness that sex is meant to create.