Raise your hand if you were alive in 1976.
(Ok, so I’m for sure waving both).
Even if you weren’t around to remember the 70s, chances are, whatever you age, you know the song, Isn’t She Lovely, by the truly talented and loved Stevie Wonder. Mr. Wonder wrote this endearing song celebrating the birth of his baby girl, Aisha.
As you begin to recall the melody, can’t you just hear the intensity of a father’s love for his little girl, “I can’t believe what God has done, through us given life to one…”
Have you ever had the chance to witness a new father lay eyes on his sweet baby girl? I have. Twice, actually.
I remember the moment my husband saw each of our daughters for the first time, something intimate and precious happened. The love in his eyes overflowed as his arms clasped his girls in a way that I had never experienced. There was a part of his love that was meant only for them, something I would not touch, but forever would be touched by. Something was triggered deep inside him and he…was…in…love.
When little girls receive this first form of male love, it helps to craft their identity. It lays a foundation for how they can see love and will be able to receive love as they grow.
As girls enter their teenage years, their bodies crave physical touch much like when they were infants. Hungry for affirmation, teen girls are especially vulnerable as volatile hormones canoften cause them to feel tossed around like a beach ball in the open ocean. One minute they want to snuggle on a lap, the other, they do not even want you in the same room. We as parents need to understand that much of this is a result of biology because hormones are sweeping in and through their bodies.
Teen girls are often internally asking questions like, “Where do I fit?”, “Who finds me attractive?”, “Where do I discover more of who I am?”
But guess what, Dad’s you too can feel confused when you look at your beautiful teen girl. When she comes bouncing down the stairs and stands in the kitchen making morning toast, you stare at her. You blink, blink again, then rub your eyes, but you can’t shake it. This developing young woman, who is also your daughter, freakishly reminds you of your wife (15 years earlier)! And you might even find her attractive. Then you know, absolutely that you are crazy – how can I be attracted to my own daughter?! Yikes!!
But I’m here to tell you, you are not crazy. The biology standing in front of you in the kitchen is reminding you of the interwoven beauty of husband and wife that together created this daughter of yours. Yes, she is lovely, after all, she was “…made from love.” Teen girls need their dads, especially during these years, to remind them that they are oh-so-very “lovely.”
Dads, your daughter’s beauty is there. It’s real. And while it might feel corny or awkward, your daughter might just need to hear you tell her how lovely she is again and again and again during these teenage years…
Isn’t she pretty?
Truly the angel’s best, man I’m so happy,
we have been heaven blessed.
I can’t believe what God has done,
through us given life to one.
But isn’t she lovely, made from love.