Today, with an outstanding group of parents and mentors, we had the first class of Talking To Your Teenager About Sex at Church of the Open Door. We began the conversations of talking about sexuality. I couldn’t have been more thrilled by all the faces and rich dialogue that defined our time together today. I can hardly wait for next Sunday!
If you weren’t able to join us today, here’s a quick glimpse of what we talked about:
We began this four week series with this tension filled statement… God created teenagers as sexual and spiritual beings.
Yikes! Can we say those things in the same sentence?!
Let’s think about it for a minute. It’s easy to recognize teenagers as sexual beings – right? I mean, honestly, no one is questioning the reality of all those raging hormones in this sex-saturated world, but how is their spirituality a part of this?
Our teenagers’ sexual portfolio will travel with them throughout life. As parents our job is not to define this, but rather to equip them with language about sex, to empower them with the truth about what healthy sexuality looks like and, above all else, give them the assurance that they are not alone. Never ever. We are here to support them.
So, last year my daughter introduced me to Mumford and Sons music and well…I fell in love with it (as did most of the country, actually). But during today’s conversation I was reminded of this great music video someone did of their song, Awake My Soul. The song is about the soul returning to hear the Creator.
As parents, it’s so good to notice what arises in us when talking about sexuality with our teens. What fears, resignation, anger, excitement, worries might we transfer to the topic with our teens?
What do we want them to be aware of? What do we want them to awaken to?
Our Creator means for us to experience our sexuality as good. Our sexual drive is something created with a purpose and with intention, but it also has an incredible power to create great havoc in our lives.
If we are going to invite and engage in this conversation with our teens, we must remember that we too, as parents, are spiritual and sexual beings created by the hand of God and this is “…good, very good!”
Do WE remember who we are?
Maybe we have fallen asleep to this truth about our own spirituality and sexuality. Maybe we forgot this or perhaps this is the first time ever hearing this truth. Wherever you might find yourself, I want to encourage you.
You have something to share with your teen. And it matters that you engage intentionally.
What are we willing to invite our teens into?
Are we willing to risk seeing ourselves as made in the image of God in order to invite our teens to see this as well.
I look forward to the next class together, but I hope, no I pray that this week your thinking will be dislodged, interrupted and (might I say) disturbed by the ways in which we have closed our eyes to the deep truth that our sexuality is designed by God. God designed it with the intention for us to experience the fullness of God’s love.
What if we engage with this love that is deeper than we could ever imagine and strong enough to hold every ounce of our sexuality and spirituality, without shame?
ps Please feel free to post any questions, thoughts or comments from the class today. I sure would love to hear them!