Let’s play a game. Are you ready? Maybe you’ve heard of it. It’s called Real or Not Real.   I’ll say a statement and you tell me if it’s real or not real. Here we go:

“Something is wrong with me if I think about sex a lot.”

Not Real. The human brain is designed to think about reproduction. In fact one of the main functions of the hypothalamus is to make sure that we eat, drink and reproduce. So your brain literally craves to be near another.

“I crave attention and I love being touched.” 

Real. Skin to skin touch is something that we were designed to experience. Think about the first man and woman; it was God who brought them together, introduced them and (believe it or not) was a part of their first union. Craving being touched requires acknowledging and learning what “good touch” is and how we can both give and receive  this.

“My sexual drive is uncontrollable.”

Not Real. Just as no one stuffs food into my mouth and makes me eat, my body’s physical functions are something that I have control over. What often happens is we learn patterns of thinking and acting where we respond without questioning their source.

“Teenagers make riskier sexual behavioral decisions.”

Real (read all about it here)Let’s face it, teenager’s brains are “under construction”. This development is a part of their growing into adulthood. Logic and reason, housed in the frontal lobe region of the brain, is developed by making risky decisions. This physical drive is pulling them towards something wonderful–another human being. But, I believe teens need help to understand their body’s drive and can then be empowered to see what the real risks are.

“Teenagers will have sex, there is nothing we can do to stop it.”

Real or Not Real?

Okay I have to admit, I have nabbed this game from the recent book series, Hunger Games. My husband and I are still pretty obsessed. You must have read it? Our teenagers sure have…!

I will not give anything away for those who have yet to read the books or see the movie, but all the Capital’s cultural brainwashing about each district and individual’s true identity got me to thinking…

What robs our teenagers of their truest identity?

How can our teens return to the deepest core of who they are?

There is only one way…


comes to them…

actively seeks them out…

speaks the truth…

risks everything to remind them…

calls them to remember what is true…

We are…made in the image of God and this includes our sexuality.

To re-member this truth, requires that together we remind teens of what is real, and help them see what is not real.

After all parents love their kids.

Real or Not Real?

I’ll let you answer that one.


~ b.