sexual foundations

From a very young age I discovered the anatomical differences between a boy and a girl, but sex or sexuality were definitely not talked about. If “it” was talked about it was only in hushed whispers, indicating that “it” was dirtywrongandverybad — whatever “it” was.

My childhood interpretation was that even wondering about sex was bad bad bad. And, just between you and me, I wondered about “it”, a lot.

Long before I had the language to define or clarify my experiences, my sexual foundation was being laid. From my own story, I’ve come to believe that what happens around us creates an environment, and what happens to us creates our interpretation. Something like this:

  • Sex is good…
  • Sex is bad… 
  • Sexuality is PVI (penis vagina intercourse)…
  • Sex is secret…

So where exactly do we get these views of sexuality that influence us?

When I was in Kindergarten, I was learning fundamental life skills like, how to share, hold a pencil, write my name, etc., etc., Also during my Kindergarten years I had my first experiences of sexual abuse.

The sexual abuse I experienced at this time were some of my first sexual experiences; thus they played a large role in forming how I viewed sex, sexuality and how I understood myself as a female. These experiences are some of the many pieces of “baggage” I took with me into my teenage and adult years of life.

All of us have life experiences that work to inform our perception of sexuality and sex. Make no mistake about it, these experiences are there alright, but they can be buried under years of unspoken interpretations and unexplained situations. Life experiences can be complicated and often really messy. Can I get an amen?

But here’s what I want to tell you. These “baggage” experiences, whatever they may be for you, these are NOT the truest essence of how your Creator designed you.

Sexuality and spirituality go together from the very, very beginning and are God’s intentional design. Genesis states that we bear the image of God and that being a man or a woman is about being a sexual being.

Is it possible that God wove these so intricately together for us to find our sexual and spiritual identity defined by who God is and not by what we have experienced?

In my own personal journey of leaving behind some of my earliest “baggage experiences”, God’s invited me to return to the very beginning, to Genesis, to remember the foundational truths about being made in the image of God.

Let’s face it, wading through our “baggage experiences” that surround our view of sex and sexuality can be messy and complicated. But underneath that complicated mess, there is the potential for so much life and hope, it’s extraordinary.

What are some of your “baggage experiences” that have informed your perception of sex and sexuality? What is your foundational view of being made in the image of God?

Join me, won’t you? Let’s hang out in the book of Genesis for awhile because God has been known to do some amazing things when we risk returning to the core of our identity.

~ becky

photo credit.

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