Different is just different

I’ve got some news for you. Women are quite different from the men. And you know what else? Men are quite different from women.

    • Science reveals it.
    • Scripture confirms it.

Some of these differences are noticeable and others are more subtle, yet each difference has something to teach us about the other. And guess what, each of these differences also has something to teach us about who we are.

In my few short years of life (smile), I have come to believe that how I hold, name and value these differences is THE most important element in relationships.

Let’s explore some examples.


MY HUSBAND: in pain

One morning, I wake to find him moaning, sweating profusely and bent over in pain.

Bad food, appendicitis, kidney stones, he feels like he is dying.

I want to comfort him, so I go near him, but he pushes me away.

I Google away on my computer and come up with a diagnosis for what is happening – kidney stones.

Driving him to the hospital is seen as a possibility rather than a need – but I drive him there anyway.

His pain reveals a frightening level of vulnerability and how hard it is for him to ask for help.

Am I willing to see him in his pain and meet him there?


MY FRIEND: less words

This friend and I have known each other for most our lives. I know his silence is not a wall between us, but instead I know it as a place of perfect space to see him as he is.

My many words dwarf his few.

My joy in seeing him is met with a quiet hug and kiss on the cheek.

He values me not through language and many words, but instead he values me more through the consistency of showing up and being available.

Am I willing to trust the depth of a friendship over my desire for words to be exchanged?


MY WORK: logic vs. emotion

One of my colleagues, we speak together often, teaching on a topic that it is as wide as it is deep. You guessed it: sexuality and spirituality.

He appeals to the logic and reason of our audience.

I tell a story to bring it to life.

He seeks to provide a conclusion.

I linger in the unanswered questions.

Our common ground is sharing a heart for the people and a love for the Word.

Am I able to value the diversity and variance with which we approach teaching? 


LET’S BEGIN NOTICING: men and women are different

The differences between men and women are meant to be a place of expanding our views in this world, not an opportunity to label and categorize one another. 

As a woman, each difference I experience with the men who make up my world is offering me an opportunity to see, learn and notice more.

It’s the simplicity and complexity of the men in my life that continues to reveal I have much to learn. I admit that the arena of honoring and valuing these differences is often exhausting; yet I pray that I can make space for these God-given designs of men to continue to tutor me as a woman who also bears the Designer’s imprint.

Friends, both men & women, I invite you this week, as you go about your life, to stop and notice some of these everyday differences between men and women. As always, I love to hear from you either in the comments below or feel free to shoot me an email.

Here’s to noticing!

~ becky

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